There are signs when you realise that you have not updated The obvious one is when the website you have spent years in developing suddenly becomes a nesting place for all of those infuriating spam bots, leaving unwanted messages on my comments page, the kind of posts that put you off your dinner. Thanks, goodness, for spam filters.
And now the rebuilding process starts, which you could say has been the case for me in general for almost 12 months.
If you lead a creative life, a lot of people will agree with me, it is anything but boring. Whether you are broadcasting or writing, there always new challenges to face. The biggest challenge of them all is trying to strike a balance between your working live and your real life. It has been anything but easy, but it is achievable.
I know, and I hate to admit it, without the last four years working in “the fun factory” I would not have been able to do the various books, radio shows and videos. But there are factors which if not kept under control, can affect one’s aspirations -person or professional. Especially if you try and too much at once.
12 months ago, I thought that I was doing OK, dealing with the various health issues but in September last year, I realised that my mind was not in a good place either. This had a detrimental effect on my motivation, on things I could control. At the time I did not know how.
Whenever I have a health issue, my number one outlook was to know your enemy. And I certainly did. In this case it was anxiety and depression.
The cause, trying to stay strong for too long, trying to cope with a job that I did not exactly excel in, which continued to sap my energy, physically and mentally, whilst trying to maintain my creative side.
When you are “over 21” there is so much that your body can take and that was what happened to me. And whatever I produced was well below the standards I had previously set, certainly did not help
That was just over a year ago; but it is amazing what the right support and the right level of medication can do. There has been a lot to fix. We are going back a number of years, right back to the days on the dole, so it has and remains a work in progress.
I need to understand my body more and that includes regular trips to the Gym and Swimming Pool – who knew that such a thing was possible. Work is important, but I value my body more.
Exercise programme is going well. I am working on a target of twenty press-ups every day. I am pleased to report that I am half way there. I can do the press, but not the up.
And I am only half way through completing the latest instalment of my Butlins Trilogy. I have decided that as this will be the most important out of the three books, I have given up setting any deadlines, but I expect to have it completed soon. I need to, as I have a very busy few months ahead where the fun factory is not included.
Following the completion of the next book, next will be the recording of a new pod cast which will feature the much-awaited gathering of my Butlins Family at the Majestic Hotel at Torquay later this year. Now I know what you are going to say, “Torquay has nothing to do with Butlins.”
Wait till we get there.